Let the Nesting Begin!

  Your room is painted!!! :) 

  I went out of town with Jennifer to St Louis for a few days and Tim got the chance to paint. We had a great time and it was great to relax for awhile. I even got an amazing prenatal massage which you evidently enjoyed also! It was hard to fall asleep the first night there because I was so excited about your room being painted. I also was thrilled to finally find some fabric for the curtain in your room and a cute sunhat for you next summer.


  As soon as I got home your dad couldn't wait to show me your room! I was so excited to see it too and it looked wonderful! He did such a great job and worked so hard to get it done. We almost immediately started moving all of your stuff into the room. I'm sure it will take a few tries to figure out the best fit for everything, but I'm so excited one major step is done!


  I got up many times last night since you were doing a happy dance on my bladder, but walking by your room made me smile. The light from outside really gave it a special glow last night. 








Love you Riley!

Little Princess!

  We found out on June 4th that we will be having a little girl join our family! The ultrasounds still seem shocking to me and hard to fathom. I joked with Tim about how, "He was right!". He knew from the beginning that you were a little girl. At first I thought boy, but by the day of the ultrasound I felt pretty indifferent about it. As long as you are healthy and "normal" that is all that is important to me. Everything did look normal and we are both so thankful for that blessing.

  It seems selfish in a way to want a completely normal child. There are so many out there that do not get that for their children. I was included in this group, so maybe that is part of the reason I would feel so blessed to have a normal child. After I was born it was discovered I had a tumor in the roof of my mouth that was inhibiting my ability to eat. This tumor was removed, then impacted my inner ears and hearing. I had a series of operations throughout my childhood at Riley's Children Hospital to repair different problems and hopefully improve my hearing. In the third grade I even was fitted for a large hearing aid. Since my inner ear was slightly larger than average I could not use the tiny newer aids, but a larger traditional over the ear aid. Looking back, it really wasn't that big of a deal, but when you are in elementary school it can be embarrassing to be "different". I hated wearing it and eventually phased out using it. I also cannot get into water without having plugs in my ears. Eventually I figured out how to take showers without having them in, but I still need them for swimming. If I am submerged in water without them I get severe pain and it leads to a infection. Swimming in high school was a major pain at times and usually included ear infections throughout the season. All in all though I tried to not let it hold me back whenever possible.

  Ironically enough the last few times my hearing has been tested it has been improving. My left ear is still not really normal, but it is much better than before. I have also adapted ways to get around my hearing in most situations. I always make sure my right ear is closer to someone speaking, watching a movie, on the phone, etc. By now it has become second nature to do these things. Even Tim helps most of the time realizing where it is better for me to be hearing wise. These health challenges in the end have made me appreciate what I do have and feeling blessed for what is "normal". Even having my thyroid completely removed at 22 from cancerous cells I still tried to remind myself it could always be worse and there was a reason it was ment to happen to me. Dealing with that led me down the path of having a Therapy Dog to visit hospital patients. I hope I can make a difference and help brighten others day even if for only a few minutes.

  So even though dealing with this didn't hold me back, I still wouldn't wish it upon someone else. I would love for our child to have a normal childhood and life as much as possible. Maybe I shouldn't even hope for that because I know having a child period is such a blessing. We will always love you completely the same no matter what comes our way. I want the best for you in life and hope you can have your own "normal" whatever that may be. <3




Love you Riley

Popping Peanut!

 
  Goodness! It's been too long! I was feeling a little uninspired, but last week you took my breath away. <3  I'm starting to feel the first little "butterfly" movements of you! Tim & I were laying in bed one night, you must have not been ready for bed! It felt like you were doing gymnastics down there. :) The movements are still very faint and random, but it is so very cool when it happens.


  We have been so busy this past month getting ready for you! Your grandma went with me to your last appointment on May 8th and enjoyed taping your heartbeat to share with everyone later. I love going to every appointment, it's so wonderful to get to hear you. 


  The next appointment we will find out if you are a he or she! I have said since the begining I think you are a boy. It's a weird feeling, but I have always thought you are a he. Tim is betting a little girl. I keep telling Tim that if it is a girl he is in trouble! I hate to think what those sweet little girl eyes will get away with! :) Either way we will be overjoyed to just be blessed with a healthy baby boy or girl. June 4th is the big day and we are counting down the days.


  I also have a huge stockpile forming! I will update next time with all your current goodies, your dad says I'm going crazy. :)






Love you popping peanut!

 

Took a Deep Breath...

and switched to maternity pants...  AHHHH!


  Seriously though, I was getting sick of the hair tie around my jeans, worrying they would come unzipped and still wearing something uncomfortable. So now that I have worn these dreaded pants on two occasions I have to say AMAZING! I ended up getting a pair of khakis and two pairs of jeans. The khakis are extremely comfortable so far, but I wore one of the jeans yesterday and they weren't my favorite. I'm hoping, in a crazy way, once my stomach gets more ginormous they will fit better.


  So with out further ado, here is a picture in the pants....drumroll...

  Muah ha ha, YEAH RIGHT! I told Tim yesterday, "I already look like a hippo!". Sorry, but you aren't going to get see this phenomenon unless it is in person! I may eventually breakdown and do the infamous belly shot, but as my husband always says, "It's not yet it's time.".  :)

  Love you Peanut and so glad you are getting big and comfy!

Baby Stockpile

  I have started to buy things and make a registry... We're in trouble now!


  I am not sure what it is, but looking, researching and shopping for baby stuff is FUN! At the same respect it is very confusing and overwhelming. "Will Peanut like this? Will this work best? How many of these do we need?". Plus you have to factor in that babies grow so fast and thinking, "How long will they really use this?". Since we do not know what we are having yet, it makes it even harder for some items. Most things are so gender specific anymore you cannot look at it without thinking it could only be used for a boy or girl. I know guys today do wear pink, but that's just mean to put a baby boy in a pink onesie! Here is what I have so far:

I couldn't pass this up on a recent trip to Once Upon a Child!

I was recommended these "sleep sacks" by a friend and they were on Baby Steals today, so I got two. You will now be known as "baby taco"! :)

  I have also been looking at strollers, carseats, disposable diapers, cloth diapers, organic matresses, etc, etc. Babies required alot of stuff! 

  Then I stumbled upon something the other day talking about chemicals in baby stuff. Tim & I try to eat mostly organic and local along with using natural household products. There are way to many "potentially harmful" chemicals in everything nowadays. It is disgusting what is allowed to be used to grow our countries food along with daily household items. Trying to connect the dots and figure out what is causing so much cancer and illness in our society is difficult, but I do believe it has to do with diet and chemical exposure to an extent. Having thyroid cancer myself and watching others go through cancer really makes it hit home for me. I'm not saying all cancer is caused by chemicals, but the bottom line is that it cannot be good to expose the human body to all these unnatural chemicals. 

  So because of all this, I am going to be slightly paranoid about our little Peanut and chemicals. I know it is not realistic to eliminate everything, but I would like to do the best we can to make it minimal. I guess even if down the road our baby develops some serious illness, I will know I did everything I could to ensure it did not develop from toxins. A baby comes into this world from such a natural environment and to immediately start exposing them to chemicals does not seem right. I hope I will be doing the best thing for our child to try to eliminate contact with many of these unnatural chemicals.

So I'm preparing myself for the, 

"Why don't you just use Pampers, I turned out fine?" Ever heard of chlorine? Yeah, it's in babies diapers along with many other chemicals. I was reading just yesterday how some of those chemicals are thought to cause infertility in males.

"Cloth diapers, that's just gross!" I figure all these years of dealing with dog do do has prepared me for this. Yes, it's not the most appetizing idea, but I know it is better for the environment and saves lots of money. 

"Organic mattresses, really?" Ever hear of BFR flame retardants in mattresses? Studies have shown these chemicals are thought to cause many problems including in the thyroid along with a long list of other issues.

  Now I'm not going to condemn any mother that uses these products because in the end you have to do what works best for you. I hope you do your own research and decide for yourself what is best. I know that this is what I intend to do for the moment and helps me sleep better at night to be educated about all baby products and what goes into them. In the end you likely spend a little more upfront, but if it helps your child to live a longer, healthier and happier life isn't that what we all are aiming for?

Oh baby!

Dear Peanut,


  Oh there is so much I want to say about and to you! I guess I will start in the beginning. :)


  We had been wanting a family for almost a year and were getting to the point of being impatient about it not happening yet. We kept trying to remind ourselves that when it was "ment to be" it would happen. Plus, with my thyroid issues, it made things harder to plan and predict. I remember listening to this song way to many times and feeling that I could relate thinking about you. It also reminded me to how it felt like a thousand years I have been waiting for you, but someday it would happen.

A Thousand Years

  
  Well that day finally arrived on March 9th! I can describe what it is like getting a positive pregnancy test, well 3 to be exact, but until you experience it firsthand it is still hard to understand. It is such a rush of excitement, happiness, disbelief and even a sense of panic! To be honest, the first few days are somewhat overwhelming, but at the same time wonderful. I also felt a sudden change of perspective on my life. It is hard to understand and describe, but suddenly someone, that you do not even know yet matters so much more than anything you have ever cared about. It's easy to get lost in thoughts and daydreaming.


  Telling Tim that day was really wonderful. I had taken the tests in the morning, so by the time he got home I was ready to burst. I had already planned out how I was going to tell him. I had purchased this last summer with the intention of it being a gift to tell him I was pregnant.

  The look on his face was something I will never forget. The smile he had was priceless and complete joy. We also used this hat to tell both of our parents and grandparents. It is one of those moments that will stay with you forever and is indescribably wonderful. We also sent this out to extending family to let them know:

We have a secret
That we want to finally tell!
You better sit down,
Cause you might want to yell.


We have our two dogs
And those crazy fainting goats,
But this is a secret
That deserves a toast.


Coming soon
To join our crew
Will not be an animal
But a little tot too.


We don't know yet
If it is a he or she
But we are
As estatic as can be!


It is 3 months along
And already a little ham
When we saw it today
It was doing a little dance


I think it knows
How excited we will be
When on November 4th
We shall be a family of three!

  We have seen you twice so far and heard your heartbeat. The first time was shocking and hard to believe. I remember leaving the doctor office with a feeling of, "Oh my, it's really in there!". When we saw you again at the three month appointment you had grown so much! It was so amazing and wonderful to see you again. I wish we could go every week to see you!

Love and hugs!